2014 is over. It’s been a pretty tough year but I can safely say it hasn’t been my worst and that’s never a bad thing.
As I look back on the year I am reminded of people we have lost, Grandma Miriam, Mr Jesus F (past step father) and my partners dad, Stephen. Who was my special pops. I miss them all dearly and it’s sad that no memories will be made in the upcoming years with them.
Other memories will be made though. Hopefully many good ones. Maybe 2015 will be SO and my year to become parents together. We have his Son who I love loads and care about so much it’s silly, but I’ll never be his Mum. He has a Mum already. Withou having a child of my own I’ll never feel complete. As I said though, maybe 2015 will be our year!
I am hoping that SO and I will focus more on us, it seems that we spend too much time focusing our attention on making others happy. Really we need to do what makes us happy! Friends are okay but we need to stop putting their feelings and happiness before our own. We need to avoid disappointments, and not set ourselves up for failure. We just struggle with caring too much, which for everyone else is a blessing but for us sometimes an overbearing hardship.
Anyway now the new year has begun, we are hoping to get SOs Dds head stone sorted. Which will be nice to get done for him. I’m also hoping to carry on spending more time with my family and his. To avoid going back into my anxiety hole!! I feel like it will be okay though.
I really feel like it will be okay.
It feels good. I need sleep haha 4.30am :0