Its been difficult today.

This morning SO and I woke up planning to go shopping. He wanted to go get me a charm as an xmas gift from the pandora shop. He woke up sad though. He’s been down for a couple days.

His mum rang in the afternoon. Figured we were on a downer and suggested to me that we should still go shopping and keep occupied. So we did and it was nice. SO got me a gift like he wanted. We got a couple bits for SOs son and his GF. Then headed back home.

However then it went downhill.

On the way out of the car park SOs Dads partner rang me. She was raging at me down the phone. Shouting. She was upset or something that i’d said she wasn’t there when SOs dad passed away.

So we said we’d come over. Sort things out. It turns out that SOs sister was at Annes place. Telling her about a conversation we’d had on facebook. It seems she totally misunderstood what I’d said and upon reading the conversation myself probably hadn’t read the full conversation to anne. Obviously they were both looking for someone to blame. That person was obviously me.

Anyway we got near annes and SOs sister was walking up the street. SO pulled over and him and his sister were shouting in the street. Before his sister walked away. SO came back to the car and we went round to anned bungalow. Anne was waiting for us it seemed.

We went in and straight away anne got in my face saying I’d done this and that. I tolf her she was wrong. Several times. She ended up telling us to get out of her house and never to go back. So we did. Gladly. She followed and threw the memory board we’d made at us. I said that wasn’t fair to do because it meant a lot to us.

Then got sat in the car. She came to the car, opened my door then and started attacking me. Slaps punches and pulling on my clothes. I was mortified. I tried moving her arm so i could shut the door. But she continued. Getting more in my face. Attacking me more. I pushed towards her. Not in a shove but just guiding her away from the car so i could get out. So she was attacking my face. She carried on. Screaming and shouting at me. Attacking me. A 68 year old woman attacking me.

Her friend was stood at the bungalow door. Eventually she shouted her to come inside. I dont know if anne did. But i got back in the car and we left.

I cannot believe what happened. I am in amazement. I have to admit all the way home i cried. Sobbed!

I text my friend I wanted to harm myself. I havent but i want to. I told my friend and my SO i want to. And I’ve text my T but I don’t think I’ll hear back from her. Even though I really need to talk to her.  I understand she’s busy. And it’s the weekend. But she needs to understand that I cant choose when I want to finish myself off. I really need to talk to my T :(:(


14 thoughts on “Its been difficult today.

    • I am feeling like I don’t want to be in this place. I’m also feeling like I’m making this all about me and I shouldn’t. I feel like an idiot for being used. I feel like I’m the biggest liar alive. Wondering if I lie and just don’t realise. I’m feeling like I should be punished. I’m wondering why anyone bothers with me because I don’t deserve it. I’m wishing everyone didn’t in some way hurt me. But know they always will, eventually so what’s the point of being here.

  1. So sorry to read about this day. Being misunderstood and misread can be very difficult, especially when it leads to verbal and then physical attacks.
    I sincerely hope you are okay. Instead of self harm, you made a tremendous choice to write your day out on this blog. I know you probably don’t feel it at all right now, but are a special human being, and have great worth.
    Do try some sleep, or if not able to, read or listen to music, anything to take your mind off of what happened.
    Tomorrow is a brand new day, a clean slate.
    Please so take care,

  2. hope you are feeling better now, and in a better head space than earlier. even if you had said something for them to be upset about, they still had no right to attack you! I’m so sorry that happened to you! how appalling, that a grown woman would try to start a catfight over anything, especially a misunderstanding. Am sure over time, they will cool off and realize (with or without assistance) that you never did anything to upset them anyway, and things will get sorted out. hope SO is dealing with it alright, too. feel better, both of you, and have some safe (((hugs))) 🙂

  3. Wow. What an awful awful experience 😦 i know i cant do much but im here listening xx

  4. Liking to show support. I’m so very sorry she attacked you. That’s a disgrace and you didn’t deserve that. I hope you got to talk to your t some time. xX

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