Missed my T.

I didn’t see my T on Friday 😦 I knew I wasn’t going to because we had to take Max to be neutered. I wasn’t particularly happy about it but understand why I couldn’t. However on Friday, when we woke up at 3pm, a fair few hours after the 9am we were meant to drop him off. I felt pretty pissed off. 😦

Littles wanted to see T. I did to if I’m honest!

Had a rough one last night. SOs sister was talking to me on fbook. Asking about when her dad passed away. I’ve worked hard to forget seeing him die but she made me have to remember. It was hard. She made me feel guilty too for not fighting for him and for letting nurses turn his machines off. Maybe it’s my fault?? Could he have been saved?

It took me ages to fall to sleep. 😦

I have to keep going though and keep functioning. I wont lie though, thoughts of self harm are in my head today and last night I just wanted it to be over!

Anyway I have to go workout now…. then I’m gonna play xbox. Keep my mind busy. Or try.

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8 thoughts on “Missed my T.

  1. I’m sorry things are so rough for you hon. It wasn’t your fault that he died. You cant blame yourself because it was his time to go you didn’t make it happen. I’m sorry you didn’t get to see t this week like you usually do. I know that can be hard when the routine of certain things happening is shattered. xoxo

  2. it was not your responsibility or your direct family. the decisions were left to those who were closest to him. SOs sister may feel left out bc she wasn’t there, or just feel no one was there for her. but the fact is, she has no reason to be upset at anyone, especially you. so try not to wear that guilt she is throwing at you.

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