So i saw T today. Which was nice. We talked about the possibility of me having a baby. If the fertility treatment works. Then about my ideals as a parent and as a friend of parents. She reassured me to be honest. Like she always does. 🙂
Somehow though conversation turned to my belief about myself and whether the i am dirty belief had changed since we worked on it. We got to talking about my obsession with cleaning my house and bleaching it. I hadn’t got the bleach out for a month or so. I’d cleaned but not super bleached…
Well now because T reminded me of my belief i ended up coming home and cleaning. I’ve thrown out 2 big rubbish sacks. Gone through 2 bottles bleach. 4 rolls of kitchen roll and the worst bit is that’s just in my kitchen and bedroom!
T what did you do :0 its 1.50 am and i only just stopped. I am fighting with myself not to continue cleaning, but i know i bleached my bathroom yesterday so theres reallt not much else to do.
On a plus note my house is smelling amazingly clean.
It wasn’t Ts intention to remind me of my belief. It just happened that way…
Oh we made another list in todays session too damn lists.
Anyway i need to go chill. Laters