Feel a littke down….

Had a good day. Had friends over and made dinner. It was nice playing with the kids. Now I’m just doing nothing though. So I’m coming live from the bathtub… 

I am feeling like I am missing my little brother and my sister. I miss my siblings a lot. I kind of wish we were all together again. Even though it wasn’t perfect. Me and my sister argued lots. As sisters do. I struggled looking after my little brother but these days i’d do anything to cuddle him everyday and have him tormenting me. I miss him.

I miss his cheek. His brown eyes his smile. I miss knowing he’s safe. I miss singing to him when he’s sad. I just remembered what I used to sing to him as a baby. To make him sleep. The song that goes….

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey, you’ll never know dear, how much I love you, please don’t take my sunshine away.”

I sang it to him lots. Rocking him. Fond memories. At the time though I hated it. He’s not even a baby now. He’s 13! He’s growing into a young man. I just wish he was mine to keep with me and keep safe. I basically brought him up then it was just taken away. I hope he knows how much I love him.

My sister too. I hope she does. I don’t see her much. Or my niece and nephew but I think about them all the time. I wish they lived round the corner.

I don’t know whats made me feel down about it suddenly :/

I need to try be upbeat anyway. Just over a week until Scotland 🙂 I’m pretty much all preparef. Just a couple more bits to pack! Go me. Well to be honest I made shivon do it haha. It’s done nearly though. So that’s good. I’ve been trying to look for activities to do in scotland. I’d really love to go rock climbing, and white water rafting.  Which is strange because I’m not an outdoorsy person. Maybe I’m rediscovering myself ** woop to therapy ** anyway, rafting is just ridiculously expensive and SO says he doesn’t think we are fit enough to go rock climbing 😦 maybe I’ll convince him!! I bet rock climbing is awesome. I bet rafting is too. Can you imagine the adrenaline whilst rafting though… I’m terrified of water but I’d so bad love a go. I guess we could maybe look at canoeing or something. :/ maybe I am becoming outdoorsy.

Or maybe it’s an alters wants and desires. Who knows.

Anyway I’m going to finish my bath :D. Laters.


2 thoughts on “Feel a littke down….

  1. I’m sorry you are feeling down. Family can be complicated. I bet your lil brother knows you love him and sis too. I’m sure they do. I’m sorry you don’t get to see your niece and nephew. That’s got to be hard. I cant imagine what it would be like as we too have a niece and nephew. Have fun in Scotland. How long are you going for? XXX

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