Funny mood…

Keep having moments of reminiscing back to the years when I finished school and started college. It’s crazy it seem like and absolute age back! Listening to songs on Youtube that got me through some difficult times back then is so surreal because I remember the songs but I also don’t remember them at all! Those years are just a blur in my mind. Difficult to remember most of it, and certain horrible parts are difficult to forget! 

They say time is a great healer, why do I see different? It been 7-8 years…. If anything now I have a whole new issue! Not remembering those years is hard for me. Were they really that difficult? Surely those years are meant to be the most memorable and fun times of a persons life.

I do remember snippets. From my last school years, and early college…. Let’s have a think….

– At school it was a daily thing during dinner breaks to try get out of the dinner hall, past vigilant guarding dinner ladies, to get into the schools corridors and class rooms. My aim was to get to a certain teacher, Mrs E. She was a lovely supportive women. With vibrant ginger curly hair, the biggest smile you could imagine. She did everything she could to get me through some hard times at home. In fact i recently found out that whilst I was at school she reported my case to social services because she was worried about my home life. Nothing came of it, but she cared about my well being! She was a learning mentor for the less able kids at school, and the naughty kids. I wasn’t in any of her groups but I used to help her do her displays and stuff. They were some fun times at school, spent in her classroom in the corner.

– I used to skip PE lessons in the fields down behind school. I hated PE. We had to wear a skirt and I simply refused. Once I got bold, I decided I wasn’t even going to try and hide. I sat in the dining hall with a very nervous friend begging me to go down to the field. I didn’t. Teachers came and told me off. I was threatened with isolation. I didn’t care. My friend had long gone after the first telling off. So I was sat alone. The isolation leader came, and said she was taking me to isolation. To which I told her the only way she’d get me there would be to drag me, and if she were to drag me I’d report her for assaulting a minor! She wasn’t impressed! Something had switched in me that day regarding school and I decided I didn’t care. The headmaster came, he knew my troubles at home, with the rape, my Father and etc. He knew I was rebelling or something. He sat with me, smiled and said it was okay. Get back to your lessons after PE or you can do the work in my office….He kinda took my steam! He was genuinely kind to me though. He understood more than he ever let on!

Minds gone blank now…. I told you I couldn’t remember much. Useless memory!

Anyway I think I’m going to go. I started writing a story yesterday. I might got write a little more.

Hope everyone is good. 

US X

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