I can feel the calm coming.

It finally is beginning to feel like things are calming down. It seems like menses is almost over and that is a good feeling. We still have slight pain but nothing as drastic as it has been.

We aren’t feeling so triggered today. We have little cramps but not severe pain. The cramps aren’t as triggering. We slept real good last night too. We felt safer having heard from T with extra support and a reminder of grounding techniques. In bed we cuddled our bear and hot water bottle and kept reminding ourselves we are here now, not then.

I can tell we slept good anyway because we woke up early and we felt ready to get up, not tired like usual. Also when we got up and checked our email T had emailed us back with a picture we asked for of her. That was good and lifted our mood more. It means a lot that T did that. That she cares.

My heads more stable today. A lot less buzzing around and just a lot less noise. I know why it’s been so bad though. Not only have the triggers been happening and body memories but I’ve had lots to think and worry about too.

With the fertility stuff mainly, at he minute i have to take tablets to make me have menses. Then when it starts I am supposed to take a drug which will make me ovulate,  then have scans to make sure I ovulate. It’s simple enough. The problem though is each time I ring to book in for scans the hospital can’t fit me in, and say I need to wait until my next cycle. Waiting is wearing me down though. It’s not just another cycle for me that will happen next month, because without the tablets the cycle won’t happen. It’s not just a month, it’s more pain, more tiredness, more pills. They just don’t get it. A month turns into several for me. There’s nothing I can do though!

Anyway I better go cause our friends just brought his kids for his visiting time, and I guess it’s a but rude to sit on my tablet, so I best go.

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