I’m so lazy with my blog!!!
It just takes sooooo much effort to document a and write everything down! I’m going through an i’ll do it in a minute moment….But here i am.
I do hope everyone is good. I am!!! I am actually feeling quite accomplished and happy with myself 🙂 I’m doing so well with my anxiety!!! I feel more free than i have in ages! I’m not dreading leaving the house as much, and don’t spend the whole time in the car worrying! It’s brilliant!!! I am healing. Slowly, but healing all the same!!! This means the therapy is working :):) I am more able to go to SOs Mums, and all sorts. Without worrying about controlling myself and without thinking i’m gonna die/puke or whatever. I’m noticing that i’m just not spending as much time worrying about the event of having to go out. Which is good!!! I suppose this is a biggy isn’t it… Doing this well!
SO and i even went to Halifax today, around and hour away, and i was okay!!!! My tummy was a little funny on the way, but i didn’t get worried or scared, i just went with it, and told myself it’s okay. It was okay too! We got to Halifax, stayed an hour or two, then came home… I did it! I’m pleased. Sunday we ended up visiting SOs Mum before we went tot he offices, SOs Aunt and Cousin were there, but i was okay, i think i was maybe anxious for a minute on the way! That’s brilliant for me. Before i’d have been anxious and getting worked up about it all the way there, the night before even! So yeah things are changing 🙂
Therapy is also going well. More parts are feeling safer with T, despite the hiccup we had. I think they are maybe seeing her as more human! It’s good. Bee is feeling comfortable and i think T may start seeing more of her from now on. Bee has lots to talk about with T. That T can help her with. T and Bee are currently playing with Russian nesting dolls in session. Well Bee watches T place they all side by side. Bee loves them but daren’t touch them. In case they break. T is using the dolls as a way for Bee to show who is biggest to smallest in the system. Although it’s very hard to place us like that.
T has made Bee nag me to get her a Russian nesting doll. I think i will for our birthday. She wants one with 10 pieces, one for each of us. I don’t mind getting her one for our birthday. She said it reminds her of having one. She loved hers but doesn’t know where it is. I’m going to ask my sister if she remembers having them. See if she knows where they got to!
Anyway, other than that i haven’t been up to much. Except last week, we were at SOs Dads, and his partner was chucking loads of clothes away. She said we could have some if we wanted. Usually we wouldn’t, but we know she has some real nice stuff, so we looked in the bag and got 3 real nice jumpers, and some t-shirts. I love the jumpers 🙂 I’m so happy i dared to look, and didn’t feel stupid accepting them from her. It’s a big thing for me to do that!
I am changing i guess, but it all seem sot be for the better so that’s good.
I’m even wearing one of the jumpers i got now. 🙂 It is off white wool, with silver sparkly bits, and love hearts shaped stitched with the wool. 🙂 It’s great. It’s a bit see through though so i put a vest underneath 🙂 I also bought some M&S bras last week. They are sooooooo comfy!!!! I didn’t pay either i had a voucher i got ages and ages ago from sky! So i used that and treat myself seen as i’d been ill early in the week.
All fun. Anyway i’m gonna go…..