Today I am so proud of myself, and my parts! We had a good day.
Today we had work, then had planned to go out for a meal with SOs mum afterwards, which meant having to go back to SOs mums after work to get changed to go out and stuff. This is something that usually I couldn’t face….
Today though SO and I stopped at his mums for a coffee and to drop our clothes off, it felt okay to be there. I wasn’t super anxious like I’d been before. Then we went to work. I was still okay. On the way back to SOs mums from work I did get a little anxious.
I practiced the breathing T has shown me though, and tried to accept the anxious feelings as normal, telling myself I’d be okay. The feeling eased once I’d got changed and we were getting ready to go for the meal. It felt good to feel okay. It also felt good to remember what T had suggested I try. It worked some so that’s good. I also told myself to smile and be happy. It felt good to smile. I almost laughed at myself!
The meal was nice. It was good to be out with family. Usually i would have been feeling too ill due to the anxiety before we even got to the restaurant and made SO take me home but I really was okay! I’m proud of myself. Also of my parts because they helped me feel okay and safe.
After the meal I was still feeling okay and could stay at SOs mums for a coffee. I got comfy on her couch and cuddled up to SOs mum. We are quite close, she’s no evil mother in law. Anyway I had my head on her lap and she stroked my hair and hugged me 🙂 it felt good to feel her love. My child parts loved it. She feels like a real mum for Jessie and Bee. I didn’t want to leave. Jessie told SOs mum he wanted to sleep there, as long as she had a teddy bear to sleep with because we couldn’t sleep otherwise.
Best thing is, at that moment it felt like i could have stayed there and been okay. Felt okay. That’s a brilliant thing.
I feel accomplished.
So so so proud. I know T will be too when I tell her how I managed and that I practiced her advice. SOs mum sure was proud of me. 🙂