What a day….

It’s been a very long day today. It started with me being very tired! I don’t think i fell to sleep until after 6am and i was awake by 11.30. The sleep i did get was rubbish too. Kept waking up, tossing and turning. Just couldn’t rest at all! I got up though, and we went to see my Dobermann Max third litter of pups. They are so adorable.


They still have a bitch pup left. She had a yellow ribbon. She was such a chubby thing. I so bad could have fetched her home with me! I need a puppy! Least i have had my puppy fix though! It was nice seeing the pups, but i was looking forward to getting home!

I didn’t expect any messing about, and just wanted to chill out! Unfortunately my SO had me fucking about sorting a cash register out for someone! It’s taken me hours! It’s pissed me off! It was so frustrating! I had to reset it about 4/5 times! Grrrr. i never knew it could be so hard to make a till put a shop name on the receipt. Damn thing. Least it is done though!

On a plus note, I heard from T today! She has cleared up all fears and worries we had over her strange e-mail where she wrote about maladaptive belief and gaining mastery! So that is good. She explains it very well actually.

In response to what my email, what I was basically saying was that early life experiences have an impact on how we then view the world, and leads to beliefs about ourselves that are often shaped by what important people in our lives tell us. An example could be a  teacher having a bad day, and in a moment of frustration telling a child who can not understand something that  they are’ stupid’. The child is devastated by the comment, and then carries that belief, ‘the teacher thinks I am stupid, so I must be’ . The child grows up believing this which then clouds his view of himself. Beliefs such as this become part of a memory network in that child’s brain.  
In terms of ‘gaining mastery’, when children play  they are often trying to understand and make sense of life experiences, and by playing them over in different ways they begin to understand things form different points of views, along with moving forward developmentally as they grow. e.g child then playing at being a teacher and being a ‘nice’ teacher, and a ‘cross’ teacher, trying to understand how each role feels. 
When something very traumatic has happened these situations are often re-enacted over, and over again in different situations. Sometimes it is helpful, and other times these behaviors get stuck,  being replayed without a resolution. An example would be a child who is in foster care, rejected by  his parent. The child is expecting  to be rejected again,( maybe he finds being rejected more familiar, than being loved!) so  unconsciously sets up behaviors that could cause him to be rejected again, and again maybe unconsciously taking himself back to his earlier experience. These behaviours are attempts to gain mastery/control over events that were at the time completely out of  his control!
Makes sense now! I was being stupid, and letting others go overboard! Also T has i think basically said that we are good to keep working together 😀 and that she doesn’t at all feel stuck with us! Yay. That makes me happy. I felt a bit of a drain on her to be honest. That’s kinda cleared up though. She said we can look at how we are working together in Easter. I think i kinda made it look like we weren’t happy seeing her. It’s quite the opposite for most of us. I was worried she’d still want us to find a different service for support! So yeah, all is good today. I am looking forward to seeing T on Friday. I could just like hug her or something 😀
I’m gonna e-mail T back and tell her “thanks for being awesome”

6 thoughts on “What a day….

  1. Your t makes perfect sense. I am glad you have her. I see ours on Thursday, Lexi still wants to video herself interviewing her! Hoping to do that before xmas! Wish I could see the pups, love dogs! XX

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