Whats the point?

Nothing is working out. I called my gynaecologist this morning because I hadn’t heard anything since having tests done. The polite receptionist informs me that my results aren’t through yet. I ( I did the tests weeks ago) then she adds well you will not get an appointment until next year anyway. I was taken aback and immediately very annoyed. However like a little sheep I just said ok thanks and hung up. This waiting is killing me. I need to know. 

I feel like it’s just holding back the inevitable.  I just want to know can I be a mom or not? So I have to wait at least 2 more months. I hate this. I feel like punishing myself for my body not working probably. I could just scream!

I wish I could talk to T right now. She would know what to say to stop me feeling this way. I don’t want to wait anymore. I’m tired of waiting.


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