Lazy mood

Wang to write and have a really good rant but really cannot be arsed to do so! Lazy moment maybe.

I am annoyed at my stepson turning up at 1am to stay the night. If he’s gonna show up that late why doesn’t he just stay at his mothers? It’s not fair to get the dogs all wound up at that time. Cause we can’t be out walking them to calm them down at 1am. It’s disrespectful I think! I don’t understand why they can’t arrive earlier. He always comes with his gf. Then they just parade upstairs to hus bedroom. He has a tv and gamestation. Everything he has at his mums. I just don’t get it. His gf will also wind shivon (an angry part) up tomorrow because she uses her bath things. Shivon isn’t being petty. We take great pleasure in things we can buy ourselves now and take great care in picking hygiene products. Refusing to buy the crap our mother used to. So it annoys when someone else uses what we feel like we have worked hard for. Maybe petty to others but to us it makes perfect sense. I did try putting everything into a box under our bed but our SO didn’t understand our need to hide it and told them where it was. So yes I have to deal with Shivon being pissed off tomorrow.

It’s making ne anxious and frustrated. I can tell. They have wound me up. I know this because I have done my usual calming stuff. Which is the following;
-first I chewed off all of my nails, which had grown lovely :(.
-second I removed cushion covers anf throws from the sofas and have them in the washibg machine.
-third I washed our dinnerware and cups from supper and dried them.
-fourth I tidied the kitchen and wiped the surfaces.
-fifth I tidied up the dogs beds
-sixth I prepared tomorrow dinner and have put a chicken in the slow cooker to have with vegetables and potatoes tomorrow.
Now I’m going to get the things out of the washer and put them on the radiators. I’m really frustrated!

On top of that I found that Bee had been talking to someone earlier via facebook. On our DID facebook. She has told them she is scared the men are going to return. Also that she is frightened to speak with t. This worries me because it seems Nat is in a bad place too. So I am unsure how I will deal witb both of their breakdowns. Right now everythibg is quiet sobs, but it will soon erupt.

I didn’t message t yet. I tried to keep busy. I’ve read 4 books over the last 3 days! Some Cathy Glass. I enjoy her books. I also just finished one by Julie Gregory, sickened, it is about a child whos mother, she believes, has Munchausen by proxy. It has some shocking content and I feel for the woman and am shocked by the things her mother had her victim to. I’m stopping myself reading anymore until tomorrow because I want to sleep tonight. I’m not going to allow myself onto my phone or tablet! Unless I’m sat hours and still not sleeping. See if boredome will send me off to sleep.

Nat isn’t liking sleep right now, she tells me Bee is having bad dreams too. Maybe they are my reason for insomnia. I am subconsciously scared or something. I don’t know.

Anyway I guess I should go sort this washing out.  Then get to bed because it’s 2am.



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