bad bad bad day.

In quite a shutty place today. It started last night. Can’t sit still. Wanna be doing doing. Its like theres something on my mind I’m trying not to think about but I really don’t know what. Its bad when you don’t know whats making you feel bad. I know why I feel bad. Usual case is that its my “colourful” past that is making me feel this way.

I tried readin ts email a few times to see if it would cheer me up but it did nothing. I really feel on the down low today. I’m just not in a mood I wanna be in. We have even got stevie here but I dont wanna be near him. I can’t stand the site or sound of other people. I could do with a secret corner to hide in. Jessie wants a picture of t to look at cause he’s sad. He says she makes him less sad. If only it was that simple.

I was thinkng yesterday morning that I was doing so well, but theres something, I don’t know what getting to me. Its dragging me down. I’m physically and mentally exhausted. Will it be ok. Will I really be ok? I’m scared of what is about to come out. I’m real scared. I wish I didn’t feel this way. I was doing so well.

Aaaaargh. Tonight is gonna be a tough night sleep wise. 😥 help me be ok.

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