this week I’m making changes….

To my house. Going grey and white everywhere. My house is gonna look clean, institution like and hygienic, just how I want it. Its looking brill. I’m wanting a calm, airy feel not neutral. Sick of neutral. I guess its still neutra but calm and collected greys. Its brilliant. Need some new artwork though. I’m getting new carpets too. Gone with the browns 🙂 nice anthracite colour coming. Starting on thursday. I can’t wait. Then my sofa on saturday. Nice and black of course 🙂 I may not be able to change myself in alot of ways, but I can improve my home to make me happy. Its also taking my mind off of t appointment on friday. To be honest I’m more worried that my endometriosis is gonna be a bitch and make it impossible to leave the house due to extremely heavy period days. I’m keeping my fingers crossed though. I wanna make it.

 

I went for more magic pills from doc yesterday. Told him upto nowI’d had no call from rightsteps. He’s referred me again. Also told him t said I should ask to be referred to apts, he looked at me like I was crazy and saI’d I had to go to righsteps first then theyd refer me and if they didn’t I had to go back and he would do it. He didn’t see, to understand that I was telling him if he did it now t would get me on the waiting list so I wouldnt have to wait as long but he didn’t get it. I dont think he could be arsed. If Ihaven’t heard anythig by this time next month I’m gonna go back to docs, ask to soeak with an english female doctor, who understands english, and I wont leave til thy have done what I’m asking. It can’t be hard. Theyv only gotta send a fax or something. What have I gotta do? Top myself? Fuck that. 

 

Makes me look in control though when I go knowing what I want and need. The doc don’t seem to get that I have DID its a certain parts job to get us what we need. Doctors sometimes just think they know best. I should have done he adult therapy when I left the camhs t, but I didn’t. I regret that now I could have avoided all this. Especially putting my old t out like I have. I think she will know how much I appreciate what she is doing. I think. Shes a good person. Thats what g’ma says. Jessie thinks so much of her too! His opinion of something or someone can be make or break in any situation. I will always try make sure my jessie is happy and content. 

 

You know that dont you jessie? 

 

Anyway I’m going now, gotta take lee home soon, he’s my sisters fella, he’s helping us to paint. Thanks lee. 🙂

Siobhan

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