so…. hows you?

Today hasn’t been a bad day. Well I didn’t get out of bed til stupid o clock. I’m beginning to think it may be the pills. Anyway I got up and made a sunday beaut. Musta took me hour and half just peeling veggies and potatoes. Invited mel, andie and osc to eat with us too. It was yummy. Gonna try make sure I have a good meal each day instead of crap. Thing is though I always feel too tired to cook. Tomorrow will be easy though. Pauls making bubble and squeek fro, todays leftover veg and stuff. We got washed up after food, then all watched grounded, then paul took mel andie and osc home, and we just been chilling together. Watching tv. Oh I fitted some washing into day too, fun huh?

Paul told me today he wants a breadmaker, hes not gettingone. Good ones are expensive. He says its cause bread has fats and lotsa yeast in to make its shelf life longer and none of that stuffs good for you. The yeast apparently is the reason bread makes you bloated. I don’t mind shop bread. Lol. Can’t be that bad or they wouldn’t sell it. Jessie reckons too muh bread will make him explode though. He still asked for a chocolate sandwich half hour ago! So he must have forgotten. I reckon its jessies fault we are fat. He’s a nibbler. Just picks at stuff when he’s out. So nibbles in between meals is not good! Could be worse though I guess. Least the others don’t really nag about food much. Thats a blessing.

Tomorrow i think we are goi to visit pauls dad. We’ll go early too, i don’t like going evenings when hes had a drink. Hes an avid drinker, and i really dont like drunk men. I avoid pubs if i can. Paul gets to go have time with stevie at the local, im more than happy to stay at home. Paul enjoys it anyway, and it gives us time apart. Afterwards i want paul to take me into town. We didnt go today, as i said i got up late and then was doing dinner. Eveything shuts early on sundays. Hey its 1.40am. I guess its already tomorrow. Got drag myself to bed soon so i can wake up at a decent time tomorrow! Get out of this nocturnal cycle im getting into.

Paul looks real tired tonight. Hes been in a weird mood for a while. Sort of a fed up mood. He says it isnt cause of me but i sure wish i knew what the problem was. He says he loves me and everything, just that its one of those days, must be one of those weeks though. I try not to think about, dont wanna piss him off with needy insecurities. Hes allowed problems too. I guess i just wish i got a better reason for his fed up mood. Sometimes i can tell he just doesnt wanna let me in. I guess i cant say anything though. I dont communicate with him regarding t when we were emailing, i dunno why i dont i always told his mum first chance i got, but never told him what had been said. Weird huh? He always overheard me tell his mum. Maybe im trying to protect myself during weakness or somethig stupid like that. Knowing me it will be something super stupid. Typical me.

I love him though, and trust him with my life and soul. Hes my knight in shining armor on a white horse. Hes my real life safe place! Now thats something to savour!!!

Im goig to bed, night.

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